Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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