True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
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At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
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Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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