did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It was confusing and full of hummus
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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