I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize