that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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