btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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