I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
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To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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