you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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