I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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