dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
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you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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