you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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