i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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