i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize