I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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