jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My feet surprised me
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