Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize