Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I smell like Dick and happiness
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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