when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize