doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize