are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize