HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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