Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize