they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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