Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize