Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I could make wine with my vomit
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize