If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize