I'm really into asian looking animals
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize