Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize