Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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