Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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