I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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