I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize