i just wanna soil my oats bro
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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