This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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