I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
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The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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