What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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