i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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