New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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