dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize