I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You ate ashes out of my bong
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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