Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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