i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
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i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I enjoy the company of your penis
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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