bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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