He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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