I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We have so much sex to catch up on
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for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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