It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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