I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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