dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize