just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize