"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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