today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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